Sunday, August 20, 2006

this is fucked up. you are fucked up.

At work. Inside a shack for nine hours. One customer.
My daily routine. Put the sign in a visible spot. Put the bikes outside. Sit on my ass and wait. Insert CD into CD player. Initiate audio stimulation. Wait. Apply protective sunscreen to all exposed areas. SPF45 does the trick. Wait some more.

They don't know how badly I'm scamming them.

Everyday I fall asleep reading on top of two towable watertubes. I get alot of reading done. I also get alot of sleeping done.
I mostly get alot of nothing done.
Everytime I wake up from a nap on those tubes, my legs are asleep. Except they're so numb that I initially don't know they're asleep. The faster I stand up, the quicker I collapse on the floor. I try to stand myself erect again and collapse once more. This has started to intrigue me. This feeling of helplessness as I crawl along the floor in a dazed stupor, trying to reinvoke life and feeling into my appendages. Rub to make the blood flow. I have to teach myself to walk again. Pacing in circles on the sandy wooden floor. I feel the tingles and pains trickle into my legs. Shake it out. Do a little dance. They already think I'm crazy anyway. Learning to walk again.
I do this every day.

Watch the dog. Make sure she doesn't take off down the beach. She likes to harrass little kids, beckoning them to throw rocks for her.
She's good at killing gophers.
Even better at killing time.
Thunder frightens her. I love it.

A psychic on the Maury Show predicted that my hometown, which is a twenty minute drive from where I now live, would be pulverized by a killer tornado. She had also predicted the water epidemic we had a few years ago, along with the big Cochin accident and Thailand's tsunami disaster. The tornado was supposed to touch down yesterday.
It never came.
I think it was karma. Too many people in the town wanted the tornado to come and clean up this mess they call home.
I guess the town doesn't have enough good karma for a tornado.

I hate psychics. They disappoint me.


How is a tornado supposed to annihilate a downward spiral like the Battlefords?

Posted by Lando Commando @ 6:51 PM :: (3) comments

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

baby, if i was in demand, you would be mine

fuck the world
the end is near
i'm slightly drunk
what are these creeps doing in my hotel room
well, i guess i'm the host
make the girls happy
i am man
see me spend
consider me an obstruction
why am i drunk?
oh that's right
so i will be too inhibited to defend those who i'm supposed to protect
fuck
vodka is not my friend
to hell with you all
present hall pass
second request: present hall pass
here's the part where the laser blasts make the lockers explode
"let's get retarded in here" says the romanian
i just want sleep
make these people into what they really should be
sheep
maybe then i could count them
and i can sleep
yessssssssss
this ain't my scene
nope
not my scene

better get off here

goodbye

Posted by Lando Commando @ 5:52 AM :: (1) comments

Saturday, August 12, 2006

hope i live it out

Solstice

There is no devil at the crossroads
Just me and not what I will gain but what I will lose
Dirt on the knees
A burst of the head awaiting my coming solsticial move
Is it a fleeting escape?

Private portions for private parties
The shaking of hands and slurring of words
Let's have a chase
Let's have a race
A chase of the chastised
A race for the rape

Deal with it.

The incense does not incense the not-so-innocent
These smug Philistine fucks
Veiled apathy in enchanted delusions

Carry on with your word
No more bullshit plans and backoffs
I have never noticed how much you walk with your tail between your legs until just lately

Get on with it then.

Posted by Lando Commando @ 1:57 PM :: (3) comments